
But I grew older and wiser. I advanced to checkboxes by the time I was in third grade in California. By that time, though, I'd become socially awkward, had just gotten glasses, and lacked fashion sense. As a result, a flood of "No" checkboxes became my persistent reality.
I shelved my notes for some time after that, at first worried about getting more "Nos," and then realizing that the note's time had passed. But why? Why had it passed? All through high school and college I longed for a simple answer from any of the innumerable women I pined for. Were society less judgmental, it could be as simple as a sheet of paper handed along and then recollected later with but a mark's difference -- and that would be all I'd need.
In college, I finally took a stand and set out to try applying the concept once more. Of course, I was still a bit worried about looking like an immature fool, so I revamped the idea such that it was less recognizable. Thus, I conceived of "The Survey."

Here's the list of questions that appeared on my survey (and an image of the actual survey itself, as it was given to girls, is on the right-- enlarge by clicking):
"Survey Guy" Survey
1) Do you think the guy who gave you this survey is cute?
(If Yes, proceed to question 3; if No, go to question 2.)
2) Since you are not attracted to him physically, does it seem like he might nave ANY characteristics that appeal to you?
√
√
√
√
(If you could not think of any, please return the survey now; if you wrote something, continue to question 3.)
3) Really? Great! He thinks that you're attractive, too, or else he wouldn't have given you this survey. Next question: Are you in a relationship at the moment?
(If Yes, continue to question 4; if No, continue to question 5.)
4) Is your boyfriend (or girlfriend) big enough to beat the living crap out of me?
(If Yes, please turn in survey and never mention this to boyfriend/girlfriend; if No, continue to question 5.)
5) Let's say that, hypothetically, there was a national emergency and someone very important to you needed to call you about something very important; what seven numbers would he have to dial to reach you, and in what order should I dial them?
Phone Number = _____________
(If you leave a number, please proceed to question 6; if not, please turn in survey.)
6) I congratulate you for reaching the final question! Based on the positive responses thus far, would you be interested in going on a date with the guy who gave you the survey if he called you?
(If Yes, please include name at the top of survey.)
The Result -- The Struggle Continues
The survey garnered mixed results. Women who took it fell into a few categories:
- Confused
- Creeped the fuck out
- Annoyed
Entertained but not interested
- Entertained and interested
- Plants; Ridiculously attractive women I already knew who would humor me by filling out the entire survey publicly to engage other women's interest (Wendy, I'm looking at you)

Nevertheless, one day this method will be repopularized. I feel like Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg are doing their parts to glamorize the cute-in-a-socially-awkward-and-dorky-kind-of-way guys, which the note system certainly applies to most. One day ... one day.
-- Shawn
9 comments:
You never cease to entertain me. Keep writing.
Michelle
I for one have always liked the geeky, social awkward guys. They are in style! Good read buddy!
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